Aug 25, 2009

Houdini Is Alive And Well In Michigan

Need a laugh? Read on. My daughter told me a story that every mother or grandmother will enjoy - and understand.

My daughter Julie and her husband live in a beautiful neighborhood. The homes are gorgeous and the neighbors are wonderful and friendly. They actually have a neighborhood summer block party like days long past. It's a young neighborhood, so there are lots of children. The block party this summer was on Saturday this last weekend. Julie and Mark have two little girls, whom, as you know by now if you have EVER read my blog, are the light of my life. Sydney is 5 and has blond hair long enough to sit on. She is a wild flower child, with plans to save the world and all animals and children in it and she has her own personal and quite vocal campaign against littering. She's kind and gentle, but no push over, thank you very much. She came in crying one day this summer because the senior neighborhood boys of 6 or 7 sent her home because she is still a "baby". Uh, probably won't happen again. She ripped into them with a lecture on how she "simply will not tolerate any boy treating her so disrespectfully". Did I say Sydney is 5 going on 25? And did I say Mimi is still trying not to break in to a full out cheer?

Little Gremlin...uh, I mean Isabelle, just turned 2. She is a short, stocky little body which is in a run at full speed about 99% of the time. She wobbles just a little as she rips around and ALWAYS has a HUGE smile plastered on, showing off a mouthful of adult sized teeth. It must be fun for her just thinking about what she's going to do next! Both of Julie's girls have more hair than the average 21 year old. As Izzy flies by, a thick mop of hair resembling an adult wig (because no 2 year old has that much hair) flips and flops up and down with every bounce. Now that you've got the appropriate visual I'll go back to the neighborhood block party. Julie was so excited to see all of her neighbors and she was thrilled to dress her little girls up and show them off. As always, Sydney and Isabelle looked like little dolls in their frilly outfits. Sydney pranced around with all the elegance a 5 year old can muster, ready to preach about her latest cause, fully prepared to snub the offensive boys. Isabelle sprinted with her typical joy, which simply oozes from the child's pores. Izzy was dressed in a one piece, shoulder to ankle outfit, with snaps up and down both legs. Did I mention that Isabelle has a propensity to remover her diaper? My daughter goes through more duct tape than Builder Bob. Yes, she duct tapes the child's diapers on. As the sweet little family walked along chatting with neighbors their eyes zeroed in on a site they dreaded, though one which had become all too common. A diaper was lying in the grass. Simultaneously, Mark, Julie, and Sydney all gasped and turned their heads toward Isabelle. Oh...what a relief. Nope, no humiliation on this fine sunny Saturday! A neighbor wonders aloud if the diaper could belong to Isabelle (evidently at some point they had seen her in action) and Julie answers with great pride, no ma'am, Isabelle's diaper is duct taped on and not even one snap is undone. No, not my baby, not this time! Izzy zipped out in front of them with her cute little outfit still fully closed, snapped up ankle to waist.

Julie's smile slowly faded as she sees a wet spot spreading down Isabelle's legs and something silver wadded up in her baby's hands. Duct tape. The child is a Houdini.

Julie called me this afternoon with her daily report of who'd fallen down a flight of stairs, who stayed awake until 2:00 am, or perhaps who forced the cat to suck a pacifier. Once in a while every mom just has to use the potty. For some time now Julie has dreaded the inevitable - Isabelle getting out of her crib. For months Isabelle has been able to leap out of her pack and play as soon as her feet hit the mattress with the dexterity of an Olympic track and field star. Today she was placed in her crib for a nap with a clean outfit, a duct taped diaper, a full tummy, a pacifier, and a blankie. Julie ran back downstairs to get a load of laundry out of the drier and ran back upstairs with it. When she carried the laundry in to the master bedroom, there was Isabelle. Stark naked, jumping up and down in the center of Julie and Mark's absolutely enormous bed - Izzy, grin intact. Her clothes and diaper had been thrown in the floor, and I might add it was not a pretty sight. After a three hour clean up, a shopping trip was in order. Have you ever heard of a crib tent? Izzy is sleeping under one tonight. Apparently it is a tent that Velcro attaches to the crib so a child cannot climb out. I'll let you know if Mini Houdini is able to prove a panel of childhood developers wrong.


grey like snuffie said...

I can't even think about the tent...I'm still stuck on the duct tape....that is too funny. You know, flower children in the 60's weren't so into clothes either. :o)

Joyce said...

You made my day and I can't stop laughing:)

Heather said...

oh my goodness! i think the little one needs to start potty training, lol. maybe that's why she rips her diapers off? your poor daughter! i can't even imagine what she's going through!

Neabear said...! Your poor daughter. She is going earn her gray hairs for sure with this one. I would be so tired after running after and watching Isabelle all the time. I would probably need to hire someone to come in and watch Isabelle so I could get some sleep! Hopefully soon she will be potty trained, then the diaper thing won't be an issue anymore.
Thanks for sharing the crazy escapades!


ceekay said...

I can't wait to hear how she gets out of that one...just a matter of time, my friend...just a matter of time!!

southerninspiration said...

It seems that your talent to tell a story is surpassed by the grandies who give you material to write about...these are hilarious stories. I cannot imagine a child who can get out of a duct taped diaper with clothing still intact can be restrained with some mere Velcro!! :)
Let us know how that works out! ;0


Julie said...

God bless velcro and God bless the makers of the original cozy crib tent! They both deserve the Nobel Peace Prize! So far, despite many screams and some noises resembling ones you would expect during an exercism, she hasn't escaped yet - yes, that's right ladies - I JUST TOOK A SHOWER!!!

Mary said...

Too hysterical...I totally identify with your grandma pride and delight in their darling antics! They are beautiful! I am also Mimi to my greatest treasures!

Have a wonderful day...I'm still laughing!


Cindy said...

That is so funny. It can get worse though, want to hear? My niece just bloged about her little boy who is trying to be potty trained. He is just like your granddaughter, he doesn't like his diaper so he is always taking his pants and diaper off -- the problems is -- he does it when he has to go potty. After he has them off, it doesn't matter where he is, his room, moms bed, car, outside - he poops.

Love the Duct tape idea, I'll tell Becky.

common ground said...

Hi Kathy, I absolutely love your story! Izzy sounds like an adorable tornado! So glad to find your blog!

Rebecca said...

Lol, what a great story, she sounds like my oldest daughter who now is 42 but she was a little Houdini also. We were at the Sears one weekend and somehow she could dissappear in a split second--as I searched frantically up and down the isles in the plumbing and fixture department I happened to look up on a revolving potty display and yep you guessed it--there was Jody pants down sitting going around and around...
I know how your daughter feels

Kat said...

Oh.My.Word! I can hardly type from laughing! You told that so wonderfully I can practically "see" it happening. Too funny. At least for those of us who didn't have to clean it up.


Shari @ My Cottage of Bliss said...

Oh my! It sounds like your daughter has her hands full with that little one! Something tells me a crib tent won't slow her down for more than a few seconds. ;)

Thanks for stopping by my blog and saying hello. Your visit and sweet words are appreciated.

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