May 18, 2008

What Do Water, Spiders, Insomnia, and Heart Attacks Have In Common???

I almost had a heart attack Friday night. Now, I don't mean to take the seriousness of a heart attack lightly - my husband had one when he was in his 50's and I was in my 40's. I know it's a big deal. Trust me, you will ALL agree that I am not overstating the situation!

I am a major water drinker - yes, CeeKay, I know you are laughing right now. What can I say, I am a water addict! I am never, ever without a bottle of water. Other than iced tea, it's my signature drink! The lack of excitement in this statement is sad, I know. But anyhoo...

I had killed a spider earlier in the day in the hallway. I wasn't thrilled about it being there or even the killing of it. I don't care for spiders one bit but I guess I really am a bleeding heart as my son likes to call me. I prefer to carry spiders, ants, etc. outside on a piece of paper (I know, lots of you are laughing along with my son and husband). But this spider was particularly hideous and even I could not be merciful. He went to spider Heaven via a swirling water bath. Later in the day I spotted another equally hideous spider crawling on the wall above the computer as I was reading Show & Tell postings. I'm sorry, but he joined his friend in the eternal beyond. I finished up with my blogging and decided I better go to bed, even though it was still early - 2:30 am - I'm not exactly known for healthy sleep habits. Oh dear, I remembered that I had forgotten my water bottle in the kitchen, so of course I had to get it before I could possibly go to sleep. Like the water addict I am, I must drink from a water bottle the minute my hand touches it. So I toasted myself for turning in early and raised that bottle to within a half inch of my lips and A HUGE SPIDER CRAWLED OUT OF THE BOTTLE!!! (Sorry about the all caps - it's still a silent scream!) Ladies, my thankful thought of the day is that the spider did not crawl onto my face or, cringe, INTO MY MOUTH (still screaming) or I would be in a hospital or a cemetery today! My first instinct as I saw the horrible, hairy creature with it's 4 inch eyes crawling at me, was to throw the bottle to the floor, which I did. Now, I don't drink from a small bottle. How far can a quart of water spread on a floor when thrown at greased lightening speed, you say? Pretty far. The fact that my husband slept through this uproar is proof that he needs no sleeping assistance. I, on the other hand, will need multiple aides indefinitely in order to ever sleep again. So, CeeKay, it's never too late to call me, even though you live in a time zone three hours earlier than I do. I've been up since Friday.

8 comments:

Renna said...

Oh, my. I'd never sleep another wink until Hubby had closed up the house, and set off at least half a dozen bug killing bombs (with me gone, of course!). Even though I detest the idea of pesticides, I detest spiders more!

You poor, poor thing.

ceekay said...

Oh Kat....I HATE spiders. DH better do something about that!!!! However, the part about up since Friday....HILARIOUS! Good thing I wasn't drinking while reading it. Good thing we will have peace and rest someday....well then again, for you, you will probably be painting pink flowers on something...

Jaderocks said...

I looked in my coffee cup while I was reading just to be sure there was nothing on my cup. I chuckled the whole time I was reading. Not at you or your screaming or your innocent sleeping hubby, but at your hilarious story of the events. I bet you never take a drink again without looking first.

Primgal55 said...

Oh my goodness - I too walk around with my water bottle and now I will NEVER take a drink from it again until inspect every last inch. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! :-)

hugs, Linda

La Tea Dah said...

Oh dear --- what a bad spider day you had! It reminds me of when I was a teen-ager and heard my sister scream! She was in the shower and a black widow spider decided to descend upon a silken thread --- right outside the shower door. She couldn't leave the shower 'cause it was in the way and all she could do was scream for help! I know I didn't help her (I don't like black widows either) but mom came to the rescue and all ended well.

:) LaTeaDah

Lisa said...

Oh my!! I almost had a heart attack reading your post! When I imagine it, I can hardly stand it - I feel for you. I've noticed several spiders in our house lately and this will have me constantly on the lookout!

meg said...

Oh-oh-oh! That is AWFUL! You poor thing~ I wouldn't have slept for a week :-P

Gina E. said...

Where did you say you lived?? It sounds like the Amazon! I thought we had some decent spiders in Australia, but the ones you've described sound even bigger!